The Funniest Music Tweets Ever

Twitter can be (among other things) a minefield of undiscovered comedy genius. I’m a connoisseur of the fine art of squeezing meaning, entertainment, and unexpected originality into a minuscule 140 characters. Here’s some of the best music-related ones I’ve ever read:

 

"Mama, you are under oath. Now who did you see that night?"
"Mamakoosaw." (jury gasps)
"Let the record show Mama say Mama saw Mamakoosaw."

— Dan Ewen Ⓥ (@VaguelyFunnyDan) September 17, 2013

I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.

— Fill Werrell (@FillWerrell) January 5, 2013

https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/473688645891678208

On a recent visit to Rome, Prince presented Pope Francis with a joke book. He says only wanted to see him laughing in his papal reign.

— Neil (@_Enanem_) June 4, 2014

If Rick James thinks that liking "incense, wine and candles" is super freaky he needs to get out more.

— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) July 27, 2014

"I've seen fire & I've seen rain" -James Taylor & LITERALLY EVERY HUMAN

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) July 21, 2014

https://twitter.com/celestinelea90/status/489935542180532224

https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/490576757590720512

To: Everybody
Subject: Dance Now
Cc: Music Factory

— Chris Serico (@ChrisSerico) June 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/Glynner85/status/479310668143665152

https://twitter.com/thejessbess/status/465945355570266112

https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/512725735832711170

"Enya" is a whole album about a singer communicating with whales.

— Carbosly (@Carbosly) May 5, 2014

https://twitter.com/asliceofkimbo/status/458379503140876288

https://twitter.com/mrbuster60/status/451548686095372289

BREAKING: Rydell High School Senior quarantined due to chills. "They're multiplying," the CDC explained. "And he's losing control."

— Dan Ewen Ⓥ (@VaguelyFunnyDan) November 3, 2014

Could a murderer do THIS?
*lawyer points to defendant doing cool tap dance*
I remind the jury that only guilty feet have got no rhythm.

— Wilde Thingy (@wildethingy) September 26, 2014

[5th grade music recital ends]

<applause>

Hipster: "Ugh. They were SO much better in 2nd grade."

— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) September 25, 2014

https://twitter.com/bornmiserable/status/531719870845448192

Everyone knows it's "Private eyes", single clap, "They're watching you", double clap. Now, for the love of God, get your shit together.

— Jerry Lock (@jlock17) February 28, 2014

Jeff Goldblum's laugh pic.twitter.com/SxVJTnYrKw

— Phil Edwards (@Live_for_Films) October 22, 2014

My favorite way to punish the kids is by dropping them off at school, windows open, blasting Katy Perry, and singing at the top of my lungs.

— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) July 25, 2014

https://twitter.com/kaztharsis/status/514835123922288641

https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/503426950825017344

How many Gb is Trent Reznor's "Rachet Sounds" folder, do you think?

— Jason Kottke (@jkottke) September 30, 2014

The Tide is high, but she's holding on. pic.twitter.com/6NJC0Ah6ZT

— melissa (@melibuff) August 31, 2014

https://twitter.com/Sickayduh/status/510632908579930112

https://twitter.com/Sherlyn_Wanzek/status/515936707175145473

Sometimes the hope that somewhere in this crazy world there's someone with a cat named "Cat Benatar" is all that keeps me going.

— Adult Male (@PlainTravis) August 21, 2014

My girlfriend told me that my Tom Petty obsession is getting out of hand, but I won't back down on this one.
No I won't

Back

Down

— 🇵🇸 The artist formerly known as the Iron Sherk (@TheIronSherk) September 4, 2014

If you sing 'Eye of the Tiger' as you fall down the stairs, people will think you're a champion and it's not as embarrassing.

— moody monday (@mdob11) August 13, 2013

https://twitter.com/GianDoh/status/518458432060682240

[New puzzle]
Pat Sajak: Jesus, take the wheel.
*Jesus spins*
Jesus: Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle.
Other contestants: OH, COME ON!

— You know (@Tmoney68) October 3, 2014

https://twitter.com/SteveSuckington/status/530573289664421888

https://twitter.com/caperbc75/status/505338256276602881

Thanks to the humidity, right now my hair could best be described as "Garfunkel-esque."

— CatherineLMK (@CatherineLMK) September 29, 2014

https://twitter.com/man_spach/status/505483661761064960

https://twitter.com/secboffin/status/510011574229413888

You guys are lucky. Blackberry gave everyone a free Celine Dion album.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) September 16, 2014

Adam it's Marvin.
Your cousin, Marvin Levine!
You know that new sound you been lookin for? Well listen to this!

*crushes testicles in vise*

— steve suckington (@SteveSuckington) November 3, 2014

Didn't we just hear this song?

– me listening to country music.

— eEric (@ericsshadow) August 18, 2014

"Killing Me Softly" is actually a song about my family reunion.

— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) September 22, 2014

https://twitter.com/ElPasofist/status/518759102441586688

"Hello, 911? They're playing Pearl Jam on an oldies station."

— Dan Ewen Ⓥ (@VaguelyFunnyDan) December 3, 2014

Working on a new version of 'We Didn't Start The Fire' that's just "Bill Cosby WTF" over and over and over until the chorus.

— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) November 20, 2014

[Miami]

Gloria: I want to Instagram my salad.
– But?
Gloria: The pic's not right.
– Maybe…
Gloria: Don't say it.
– Turn the beet around?

— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) December 9, 2014

"She seems to have an invisible touch." (Genesis 19:86).

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 12, 2014

 

Got some good ones to add? Tweet me.